I’m launching this blog now, in a pique of depression, and we’ll see how it goes. I formerly blogged on tumblr as the-monstrous.tumblr.com; I met a lot of people I really value there, and the loss of tumblr as a platform (may it rest in peace) does sadden me, even though I myself had removed my blog before its demise (at the time thinking it would be necessary to go in to teaching; I think I am about ready to discard that concern). This space will, perhaps, be the continuation of that blog, though it will probably contain a far higher percentage of original content to re-shared things I like.
For those who didn’t know me before, I am a middle-aged gay male kinkster in a polyamorous relationship. Formerly in Dallas, Texas, I now live in Michigan.
I have found the concept of slavery interesting and appealing since I was a young child–my first erotic memories include an illustration of Hagar’s wife kneeling as she is sold in to slavery in an illustrated children’s Bible from when I was perhaps eight or nine; some small part of my brain insists it remembers fantasizing about lego-scale (and perhaps even lego-shaped) men clad in nothing but loincloths being bought and sold prior to third grade, which would have been when I was six or seven; and I talked to a my best friend of first and second grade about a fantasy world in which all people (all free people?) wore diapers and either then or later imagined it would be the humiliating duty of slaves to change and take care of them. Of course, the concept of slavery was and is heavily stigmatized, so I was deeply closeted about these interests–even as I continued to feed them by picking up quite a collected of illustrated children’s books about ancient history.
My interests as I see them now focus around TPE (total power exchange) and humiliation/status differentiation; I expect to explore those topics quite a bit, should I end up really taking the knife to this pristine white canvas and littering it with the taint of my thoughts. Shortly: I have come to believe my deepest desires will get no satisfaction.
Painting with Knifestrikes 